Raising Screen Smart Children

If you’ve ever given your child a tablet to get through a difficult moment, you’re not alone. Screen time is one of the biggest sources of parental guilt today. Dr Penny, who has over 20 years’ experience and is a Muslim mother of three, wants parents to let go of that guilt.

“Parents in this society are dealing with a lot, and it’s really hard,” she says. “It’s the reality of the world we live in. Almost all young people spend time viewing screens.”

The solution isn’t to ban screens, but to set clear boundaries. The ideal, Dr Penny stresses, is to limit screen time as much as possible. But when screens are used, how you refer to them matters. “Don’t refer to screens as ‘theirs’. Tell them, ‘This isn’t your iPad. This is a family iPad which you have access to.’ That reframing is really helpful,” she says.

She recommends making mealtimes screen-free. “If we can have certain protected social times during the day when no one uses screens, that’s a really important protective factor for our young people,” she says. Dr Penny suggests keeping devices in a communal space at night. “It’s better if, at bedtime, children come downstairs, say goodnight and put their phones in a pile.” Keeping screens out of bedrooms leads to better sleep and fewer late-night problems. Watching content together is important. “If you’re watching screens with your kids, you can sing along to the songs and talk to them about what they’re seeing,” she says. This approach helps children engage, learn and connect with their parents.

Her key advice is to set rules before handing over a device. “If you give them a phone for Eid and then off they go with it, you won’t see it again,” she warns. “Once kids have free rein, it’s very hard to take that back.” Dr Penny admits she doesn’t always get it right, but her message to parents is clear: start early, be consistent, and keep conversations open.

Dr Penny’s Top Tips

• Limit screen time as much as possible
• Set rules before giving a device
• No screens in bedrooms at night
• Make mealtimes screen-free family time
• Watch together whenever possible